new tattoo day

Just a few more hours before I'll be sitting in the chair again and getting a new piece. Its funny but I always seem to get tattooed when my bank account is at its lowest. Bad timing or just a way to pick up my spirits when I realize I'm flat broke? I don't know so I'll let you be the judge.

I had a hard time thinking about what I wanted and it wasn't for lack of ideas. I actually have tons of concepts floating around my head, its the indecisiveness which kills me. I just can't fucking decide. I had originally thought of getting a ghoulie pin up girl but went against that because in my heart of hearts, I really don't feel like I want to wear the badge of a horror geek on my arm for the rest of my life. So further into the nether regions of my soul and past I went, and came to the conclusion that I need a metal chick.

You see, I'm pretty much a rocker from way back. I went through my hippie phase, my rockabilly gig and now I've come full circle back to what I've always loved and that's the rock and roll. Blame my Uncle Carlos I guess. It will be interesting to see what Sid comes up with using heavy metal album covers and hot chicks from the 80s as his inspiration. I trust him completely.

Getting tattooed always brings up conflicting feelings for me, as well. I've never had anyone in my family other than my uncle who has been supportive of me getting tattooed. Its still a very taboo thing and I'm pretty sure my mom thinks that I'm never going to be able to find a man for the rest of my life or that I'm going to get brain damage as the result of being tattooed. So I guess I will perpetually suffer and feel like I'm doing something wrong as long as I follow this road. Its that old feeling of "When I get home I'm going to be in a world of shit." Its not a fun way to live especially since I'm 30. The bottom line is, I'm kind of an authority girl. I do respect authority and I have a reverence for following the rules. That has to be my inner German clawing to get out. I think people would be surprised to find out that I'm a pretty conservative person. I don't like going against my elders and disappointing people in my family but at the same time, I'm not going to compromise in my life. Believe me, its just a narrow victory for my independence and I feel like I should be ashamed. But I just can't goddammit. I'm gettin' tattooed.