day 16

It's been over two weeks since I had my fibroids removed. Blech. That word is so weird and disgusting. It sounds like an alien, robot, muscle mass. I still have:

* very slight trouble getting in an out of bed
* wake up in almost EXTREME pain as my muscles are sore each morning
* haven't have much of an appetite even though I should be pigging out
* still bleeding
* my skin around my bikini line feels super sensitive
* groin chicken bones feel like I've been kicked
* totally winded sometimes, struggle to maintain my breath
* sometimes I'm sweating in my sleep, probably due to discomfort

The positive points include:

* I can drive now!
* I can move most of my body without feeling pain
* as the day goes on, my muscles become warmed up
* I can lie on my side and not just on my back
* I'm starting to have regular poops!

I know there are more positive points, its just hard to remember them all. I'm also trying to pray regularly and be reminded that people suffer every day with pain and have no refuge. At least mine is expected to end some day. I truly desire solace in the Lord and know that He will watch after me no matter what. I KNOW this, it comforts me and brings me extreme peace as I know that there is an end in sight for my post-surgery pain.

I still don't know if I will be able to go to Disneyland with Emily, but the other days she is here I will be fine for the activities.

and I did this because?...

Yesterday was the two week mark of my myomectomy procedure. Having an extremely large tumor removed and one small one was more pain than I expected. I feel really tired all the time not to mention I have a swollen belly and skin that feels like sandpaper is being applied with each step and breath I take.

I'm trying to think of reasons as to WHY I needed this surgery, I guess in my warped sense of necessity, having a 400 gram muscle mass crushing your uterus isn't enough. I didn't really have any of the major symptoms but I guess removing it while I could is better than walking around with it inside of my belly. Not to mention, the longer I postponed the surgery, the larger the thing would grow since it was showing no signs of shrinking on its own accord. Gross.

Now I need to recover. Its taking a lot longer than I really truly expected. I've two previous procedures and it was hands down the worst shit I've ever experienced. I HATE surgery. I'd rather be hungover for a month straight than do this. I just gotta stick it out and hope that I'm tip top by the time Emily and her boys show up on July 2nd. Praying for it!

misconception

It's not that people are not always what they seem, it's that given certain circumstances, consequences or rewards, people are capable of anything.

blogging sucks

But at least I can use this to make a list of the material posessions I wish to acquire.

1. iPhone 4 - I deserve a serious phone for once and I do believe that cellular communictions have reached its pinnacle with this fine piece of technology

2. Camp Chef Denali Stove - this is going to make my camping life a lot easier with the stove and mini grill combo. Plus it doubles as emergency equipment. win/win

3. a large order from deepdiscountdvd.com - I've already ordered my Donna Reed Show Seasons 1 & 2 and I'm jonesing to add some more horror to my collection.

4. Roku - I have over 200 titles in my watch instantly cue that I need to view, this would help me catch up for sure.

I need to prioritize and this is just a sampling of all of the things I'm dying to own that would make my life easier... I all about the easy.