it never went away

More so than normal, it feels like I'm turning on more and more memories. Maybe it has something to do with the stagnant stillness that I always attribute to my life. In two weeks I go back to Las Vegas for a few days, and like the junkie chasing the dragon, I can't help but get bummed out that whatever happens, I'm never going to meet someone like Ed again. That Vegas weekend will never be repeated and I'm left with feelings that I won't come across experiences similar to those anymore or again. I couldn't believe that it felt like being in love for the first time and in a way it was. The life cycle of a relationship born, lived, and died in three days. So fucking wild.

Every place I return to that we were in doesn't allow new memories to form because I'm stuck with the old ones. The ones that were the best. A rub on the back. A kiss on the cheek. Let's just stay in that time and I'll press pause and things will never change.