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I'm really always just trying to get away. I need to stay away from the internet because it truly handicaps me. Not only does it make me believe that I can do almost anything, go anywhere and purchase whatever I desire, I end up wasting valuable time. Only to find out that other people are advancing and making progress in their lives while I'm stuck on pause or trying to wind five miles of audio tape back into the cartridge with a pencil.

I had several hundred dollars accumulated only to find it disappear into the coffers of everyday life. Now the medical bills are starting to roll in and since I don't have a job, I don't have a choice. I'm trying very hard not to focus on the negative stuff since I'm having an extremely slow recovery and I'm a HUGE believer in "mind over matter." To make things even more extreme, the summer is officially here and anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I am not a HEAT person. Anything over 70 degrees makes me unhappy, sweaty, and cranky. No money, plus heat, plus surgery woes equals a suicidal me.

The most important thing that must take place is a balance of daily activities and self control. I can't purchase things online if I want to get to Europe this winter. That means eliminating the source of the problem alltogether, the random surf of the interwebs. I need to spend more time reading, blogging, photographing, churching and limiting the material desires of my wallet and leather addictions. Starting.... NOW!